Fallen
Act 1: The Death of Dennis
We start with a shot of an urban landscape passing around us as though we were in a car. We cut to a shot of a disheveled young man (Dennis) talking on his cell phone, and hear him leaving a message. This is shown with interspersed shots of the passing landscape with his messages being voiced over them. At a stop light we see the driver lighting what appears to be a hand rolled cigar, he takes a drag, exhales slowly, he then makes a final phone call-“Hey man, it’s Dennis. I need your help.”
We cut to a long shot of an empty, wooded landscape just as the sun is starting to set. The camera zooms out slowly to reveal Dennis sitting in the bottom left corner of the screen. In front of him are two graves; one is already filled in, while the other is left open, waiting for him. He is staring at the sunset with his back toward the camera. We hear a car pull up behind him; a door opens and closes. We see another character walk onto the right side of the screen, next to Dennis, he has a gun in his hand. This is Shane. Dennis turns towards the camera, revealing blood on both his hands.
Dennis-“I shouldn’t have come back.” He turns back toward the sunset but his head sinks.
We move to a profile shot of Dennis when Shane sits next to him. Shane is situated towards the back of the frame and Dennis is slightly in front of him. We see Shane place down his gun in his lap as he stares at the sunset.
Shane-“It’s been a long time.”
Dennis, whose head is still down, says without looking up-“Three years.”
Shane -“Three years too long apparently…” He gives a quick glance at Dennis then at his lap.
Cut to Dennis, he lifts his head and looks at Shane-“I can’t tell what’s real anymore. Everyday I’m right back in it, right there, and there’s nothing I can do…” voice trails off, “nothing.”
Cut to Shane, Squinting into the sunset, half to not be blinded and half steeling himself for what he was about to do-“You’ll be alright…” Shane stands up, his upper body leaving the frame.
Cut to Dennis for the final time as he hears the click of a gun. He is looking at the sunset. Dennis is in focus, Shane is behind him out of focus-“Just another order, huh?” A pathetic laugh, followed by a sad smile appearing at the corner of his mouth.
Focus cuts back to Shane, zooming in enough on his face to cut Dennis out of the frame-“Yea… just another order.” We hear a gun shot and a flash of light ignites Shane’s face. Cut to black.
Act 2: Johnny Boy
We fade into the interior of a messy apartment, panning across to a man passed out on the couch, that man is Johnny. Johnny has an almost empty bottle of rum sitting in front of him next to a glass that contains the remnants of a drink. He is woken up by the sound of his phone beeping loudly. Slowly he gets up and grabs his phone. He holds the phone between his ear and his shoulder as he pours himself the remnants of the bottle:
Answering machine-“you have two new messages…” Johnny takes a sip from his drink.
Voice of Dennis (frantic and out of breath, like he is recovering from being in hysterics)-“Hey man, it happened again. I can’t do this anymore. Please call me when you get this, I really need your help man.”
Johnny puts his drink down slowly, as he takes in the severity of the last message.
A.M.-“next message”
Voice of Dennis (composed)-“Hey man, its me again, I think I found another way.I’m sorry I’ve been such a burden, you were a good friend.”
Johnny hangs up the phone in disbelief. He rubs his hand over his head and takes another sip of his drink. After a slow contemplative drink, Johnny picks up the phone and dials another number.
Shane’s Voice-“Who is this?”
Johnny, staring down at the floor with elbows on knees, answers reluctantly-“It’s Johnny.”
Cut to black.
Fade to the interior of Johnny’s apartment. Camera is straight on with Johnny. Johnny is deep in half sober half drunk thought, when he hears a knock. Slowly and hung over he asks-“Who is it?”
Shane’s voice, from behind the door-“It’s me, open the fuckin’ door.”
Johnny gets up slowly-“Gimme a sec…” muttering under his breath, he rubs his eyes, “fuck.”
Camera cuts to mid-distance shot with Johnny walking across his living room tripping on things along the way when he finally walks out of the frame.
Cut to Johnny at door. He unlocks the deadbolt on the door and opens the door cautiously. Upon recognizing the person on the other side he beckons him in.
Johnny- camera is mid-distance (enough to show all of both men) and follows the two men as they enter the room. “Come on in man, its good to see ya. Sorry the place is such a mess.” Johnny is picking things up off of the floor, as though someone just ransacked his place and Shane caught him at a bad time. Johnny throws everything in a pile in the corner, clears off the couch and offers Shane a seat. (Focus is predominantly on Johnny as he tries to clear some space for Shane.)
Cut to tight angle on Shane from the waist up surveying his haphazard host.
Shane-“Cut the shit, Johnny, what do you want me to do.”
Cut to: Johnny seated on the couch, drink in hand.
Johnny-“What makes you think I want anything from you?”
Cut back to Shane. At this point Shane is frustrated, tired, pissed, and already doesn’t like Johnny.
Shane-“Don’t fuck with me man. Every time y’all call me you need me to do something.”
Cut to Johnny, taken back by Shane’s attitude.
Johnny-“Fuck you man, I don’t need this shit…”
Cut back to Shane. Red in the face.
Shane-“Look asshole, you called me!”
Cut back to Johnny. At first he leans back in the couch and takes a sip of his drink.
Johnny-“Fuck…” spoken as though he was caught in a lie. Leans forward, as though about to tell a secret, “Alright man… it’s Dennis.”
Cut to a tight angle shot on Shane’s shoulders, neck and head, eyes focused now,
Shane-“What about Dennis?”
Cut to a mid distance shot. The two of them are looking at each other intensely.
At this point, Shane would love to beat the shit out Johnny, but he also wants to find out what, exactly, Johnny knew about Dennis’ current circumstances.
Johnny-“You may wanna take a seat.” We see Johnny push a chair in Shane’s direction, and Shane obliges.
Cut to frontal shot of Johnny-“He called me. He’s in a bad place. I think… I think he’s gonna kill himself.”
Cut to Shane-“What’s left to kill? We both know he died three years ago. Along with everyone else in that god damned village.”
Johnny- “What the fuck are you tryin’ to say?”
Shane-“you know exactly what I’m sayin’. We all died that day Johnny; you, me, and especially Dennis.”
Johnny-“Your wrong man. Dead fuckin’ wrong!”
Shane-“Wake the fuck up Johnny! We killed fifteen innocent people that day. You can’t keep denying this shit.”
Johnny-“Shane, what the… that was long time ago man, we did what we had to do. That’s got nothin’ to do with Dennis.”
Shane-“That has everything to do with Dennis; everything to do with us. Dennis couldn’t hack it man. He needed to be taken care of.”
Johnny-“What the fuck does that mean?”
Shane-“Dennis called me too, Johnny. He told me he couldn’t get out. He needed help… my help.”
Johnny-“What did you do?” Johnny is starting to realize what Shane is talking about.
Shane-“I did what you couldn’t do. He asked for my help, and I delivered’
J-“What the fuck…how could… Dennis? This isn’t fucking Iraq, Shane! Haven’t you learned anything?”
S-“If you wanted to do it your way then you should have called him back, instead of drinking yourself into denial.”
J-“We didn’t have a choice… I mean I didn’t…you didn’t…” The memories of his past actions come rushing back.
S-“You had a choice Johnny, we all had a choice, but we acted… We did what we had to
(after a momentary pause)… I did what I had to.”
J-“Fuck you man. That’s bullshit! We didn’t have a choice. But you did… You didn’t have to kill him,” he said almost to himself, as though to reaffirm it to his character, but all the while avoiding eye contact with Shane.
S-“He killed someone, Johnny. Someone close to him. Now how many people have to die before you’ll do something about it?”
J-“So you killed him. Like some filthy fucking Haji at Haditha, huh?”
S-“Wow, so you do remember… ha… He wanted to die. He was tired of killing.”
J-“He was sick Shane! He needed help.”
S-“He wasn’t sick Johnny. Hell, he might have been the only sane one. You’re the sick one man. You deny the fucking thing ever happened.”
J-“I don’t… I never… you… you can’t…”
S-“You’re a killer Johnny. You, me, Dennis, we’re all fucking murderers. None of us deserve to live.”
J-“So you fucking killed him?”
S-“He couldn’t live with what we did.”
J-“you fuckin’ killed him man!” As though the reality had finally broken through his drunken shield, Johnny takes a swing at Shane. Shane parries and knocks Johnny to the floor. Johnny screams, “ Get out! Get out, or I’ll kill you!”
S-“I’d like to see you try. You’re a sack of shit, Johnny.”
Johnny gets up and tackles Shane. He punches him in the face breaking his nose. Johnny gets up and kicks Shane in the ribs.
S-“Kill me you fucking pussy.” Shane spits blood out of his mouth, he tries to stand up but Johnny kicks him down. Shane gets back up slowly. He stands face to face with Johnny, waiting for Johnny to do something. Shane laughs a sad, telling laugh-“That’s what I thought… when you grow some balls you know where to find me.”
Cut to black.
Act 3:
Shane is driving back to where he killed Dennis. The ride is silent and intense. Shane is staring at the road in front of him. Blood is pouring down his face. Cut to Johnny pulling a pistol out of his drawer, loading it with bullets. Cut back to Shane. Shane is digging another grave next to Dennis’. Cut back to Johnny driving, gun on the passengers seat. Shane stops digging and leans on his shovel, wiping his face with his hand, smearing his face with dirt and blood. We hear a car pull up behind Shane. A door opens and closes, we see a blurry figure walk behind Shane. We hear a click.
S-“It’s about time.” Shane stares at the camera for an instant before we cut to black.
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
REVISED, REVISED PITCH
This is a story about betrayal and redemption. It is a story about humanity, and the struggle to maintain our own humanity while dealing with the things we've done. This is a story about violence, and the toll that it takes on the hearts of Man.
SCRIPT
Fallen
Act 1: The Death of Dennis
We start with a shot of an urban landscape passing around us as though we were in a car. We cut to a shot of a disheveled young man (Dennis) talking on his cell phone, and hear him leaving a message. This is shown with interspersed shots of the passing landscape with his messages being voiced over them. At a stop light we see the driver lighting what appears to be a hand rolled cigar, he takes a drag, exhales slowly, he then makes a final phone call-“Hey man, it’s Dennis. I need your help.”
We cut to a long shot of an empty, wooded landscape just as the sun is starting to set. The camera zooms out slowly to reveal Dennis sitting in the bottom left corner of the screen. In front of him are two graves, one is already filled in the other is left open, waiting for him. He is staring at the sunset with his back toward the camera. We hear a car pull up behind him; a door opens and closes. We see another character walk onto the right side of the screen, next to Dennis, he has a gun in his hand. This is Shane. Dennis turns towards the camera, revealing blood on both his hands.
Dennis-“I shouldn’t have come back.” He turns back toward the sunset but his head sinks.
We move to a profile shot of Dennis when Shane sits next to him. Shane is situated towards the back of the frame and Dennis is slightly in front of him. We see Shane place down his gun in his lap as he stares at the sunset.
Shane-“It’s been a long time.”
Dennis, whose head is still down, says without looking up-“Three years.”
Shane -“Three years too long apparently…” He gives a quick glance at Dennis then at his lap.
Cut to Dennis, he lifts his head and looks at Shane-“I can’t tell what’s real anymore. Everyday I’m right back in it, right there, and there’s nothing I can do…” voice trails off, “nothing.”
Cut to Shane, Squinting into the sunset, half to not be blinded and half steeling himself for what he was about to do-“You’ll be alright…” Shane stands up, his upper body leaving the frame.
Cut to Dennis for the final time as he hears the click of a gun. He is looking at the sunset. Dennis is in focus, Shane is behind him out of focus-“Just another order, huh?” A pathetic laugh, followed by a sad smile appearing at the corner of his mouth.
Focus cuts back to Shane, zooming in enough on his face to cut Dennis out of the frame.-“Yea… just another order.” We hear a gun shot and a flash of light ignites Shane’s face. Cut to black.
Act 2: Johnny Boy
We fade into the interior of a messy apartment, panning across to the front door. The door opens and in walks Johnny, he throws his keys onto a dish by the front door. After pouring himself a drink, Johnny works his way over to the blinking answering machine and plays his messages:
Answering machine-“you have two new messages…”
Voice of Dennis (frantic and out of breath, like he is recovering from being in hysterics)-“Hey man, it happened again. I can’t do this anymore. Please call me when you get this, I really need your help man.”
A.M.-“next message”
Voice of Dennis (composed)-“Hey man, its me again, I think I found another way.I’m sorry I’ve been such a burden, you were a good friend.”
Johnny picks up the phone and dials it in a panicked manner. He paces waiting for someone to pick up but no one does. He hangs up in frustration about to throw the phone. Defeated he sits down in his chair. After a slow contemplative drink, Johnny picks up the phone and dials another number.
Shane’s Voice-“Who it this?”
Johnny, staring down at the floor with elbows on knees, answers reluctantly-“It’s Johnny.”
Cut to black.
Fade to the interior of Johnny’s apartment. Camera is straight on with Johnny. Johnny is fast asleep on his couch when he hears a knock. Waking up slowly and hung over he asks-“Who is it?”
Shane’s voice, from behind the door-“It’s me, open the fuckin’ door.”
Johnny gets up slowly-“Gimme a sec…” muttering under his breath, he rubs his eyes, “fuck.”
Camera cuts to mid-distance shot with Johnny walking across his living room tripping on things along the way when he finally walks out of the frame.
Cut to Johnny at door. He unlocks the deadbolt on the door and opens the door cautiously. Upon recognizing the person on the other side he beckons them in.
Johnny- camera is mid-distance (enough to all of both men) and follows the two men as they enter the room.“Come on in man, its good to see ya. Sorry the place is such a mess.” Johnny is picking things up off of the floor, as though someone just ransacked his place and Shane caught him at a bad time. Johnny throws everything in a pile in the corner, clears off the couch and offers Shane a seat.
Cut to tight angle on Shane from the waist up surveying his haphazard host.
Shane-“Cut the shit, Johnny, what do you want me to do.”
Cut to: Johnny seated on the couch, drink in hand.
Johnny-“What makes you think I want anything from you.”
Cut back to Shane. At this point Shane is frustrated, tire, pissed, and already doesn’t like Johnny.
Shane-“Don’t fuck with me man. Every time y’all call me you need me to do something.”
Cut to Johnny, taken back by Shane’s attitude.
Johnny-“Fuck you man, I don’t need this shit…”
Cut back to Shane. Red in the face.
Shane-“Look asshole, you called me!”
Cut back to Johnny. At first he leans back in the couch and takes a sip of his drink.
Johnny-“Fuck…” spoken as though he was caught in a lie. Leans forward, as though about to tell a secret, “Alright man… it’s Dennis.”
Cut to a tight angle shot on Shane’s shoulders, neck and head, eyes focused now,
Shane-“What about Dennis?”
Cut to a mid distance shot of the two looking at each other intensely. At this point, Shane would love to beat the shit out Johnny, but he also wants to find out what Johnny exactly knew about Dennis.
Johnny-“You may wanna take a seat.” We see Johnny push a chair in Shane’s direction, and Shane obliges.
Cut to frontal shot of Johnny-“He called me. He’s in a bad place. I think… I think he’s gonna kill himself.”
Cut to shane-“What’s left to kill. We both know he died along with everyone else three years ago.”
Johnny- “What the fuck are you tryin’ to say?”
Shane-“you know exactly what I’m sayin. We all died that day Johnny; you, me, and especially Dennis.”
Johnny-“Your wrong man. Dead fuckin’ wrong!”
Shane-“Wake the fuck up Johnny! All you do is sit there up on your fuckin’ high horse and leave me to clean up your mess. I’m sick of it man!”
Johnny-“Shane, what the… that was long time ago man. That’s got nothin’ to do with Dennis.”
Shane-“That has everything to do with Dennis. Isn’t that why were here. To figure out what to do about Dennis. Because we both know, he aint doin’ shit!”
Johnny-“What the fuck does that mean?”
Shane-“Dennis called me too, Johnny. He told me he couldn’t get out. He needed help, my help.”
Johnny-“What did you do?”
Shane-“I did what you couldn’t do. He asked for my help, and I delivered’
J-“What the fuck…how could… Dennis? This is the fuckin war anymore Shane!”
S-“If you wanted to do it your way then you should have called him back, instead of stick you thumb your ass.”
J-“I didn’t have a chance… I mean… it’s just that…”
S-“You had your chance Johnny. We don’t have time for you moral attitudes to kick and take chare. We act. And that’s what I did.
J-“This isn’t the war man,” almost to himself, as though to reaffirm it to his character.
S-“He killed someone, Johnny. Someone close to him. Now how many people have to die before you’ll do something about it?”
J-“He needed you to help him. Not kill him!!”
S-“Help him do what, Johnny.”
J-“He was sick shane he needed help.
S-“He wasn’t sick Johnny. Hell, he might have been the only sane one. He acted the way a person should. Your th sick one man. You deny the fucking thing even happened.”
J-“I don’t… I never… you… you can’t…”
S-“You’re a killer Johnny. Because you didn’t do a damn thing. You let Dennis die just like you let all those people die, right in front of your eyes.”
J-“You killed him man!”
S-“A good person doesn’t deserve to live with what we did.”
j-“you fuckin killed him man.” After a moment Johnny takes a swing at Shane. Shane parries and knocks jonny to the fllor. Johny screams, “ Get out! Get out, or I’ll fuck kill ya.”
S-“thants more like it.” Shane then tosses a piece of paper–cul to black.
Act 3:
Shane is driving back to where he killed Denis-next to the two graves Shane is digging a third – he is just finishing up when hear a car pull up behind him. He stops to wipe his forehead with a dirty ad – leaving a mixture of sweat, dirt and blood on hi forehead. Johnny gets out of the car.
S-“It’s about time.”
Cut to black.
Act 1: The Death of Dennis
We start with a shot of an urban landscape passing around us as though we were in a car. We cut to a shot of a disheveled young man (Dennis) talking on his cell phone, and hear him leaving a message. This is shown with interspersed shots of the passing landscape with his messages being voiced over them. At a stop light we see the driver lighting what appears to be a hand rolled cigar, he takes a drag, exhales slowly, he then makes a final phone call-“Hey man, it’s Dennis. I need your help.”
We cut to a long shot of an empty, wooded landscape just as the sun is starting to set. The camera zooms out slowly to reveal Dennis sitting in the bottom left corner of the screen. In front of him are two graves, one is already filled in the other is left open, waiting for him. He is staring at the sunset with his back toward the camera. We hear a car pull up behind him; a door opens and closes. We see another character walk onto the right side of the screen, next to Dennis, he has a gun in his hand. This is Shane. Dennis turns towards the camera, revealing blood on both his hands.
Dennis-“I shouldn’t have come back.” He turns back toward the sunset but his head sinks.
We move to a profile shot of Dennis when Shane sits next to him. Shane is situated towards the back of the frame and Dennis is slightly in front of him. We see Shane place down his gun in his lap as he stares at the sunset.
Shane-“It’s been a long time.”
Dennis, whose head is still down, says without looking up-“Three years.”
Shane -“Three years too long apparently…” He gives a quick glance at Dennis then at his lap.
Cut to Dennis, he lifts his head and looks at Shane-“I can’t tell what’s real anymore. Everyday I’m right back in it, right there, and there’s nothing I can do…” voice trails off, “nothing.”
Cut to Shane, Squinting into the sunset, half to not be blinded and half steeling himself for what he was about to do-“You’ll be alright…” Shane stands up, his upper body leaving the frame.
Cut to Dennis for the final time as he hears the click of a gun. He is looking at the sunset. Dennis is in focus, Shane is behind him out of focus-“Just another order, huh?” A pathetic laugh, followed by a sad smile appearing at the corner of his mouth.
Focus cuts back to Shane, zooming in enough on his face to cut Dennis out of the frame.-“Yea… just another order.” We hear a gun shot and a flash of light ignites Shane’s face. Cut to black.
Act 2: Johnny Boy
We fade into the interior of a messy apartment, panning across to the front door. The door opens and in walks Johnny, he throws his keys onto a dish by the front door. After pouring himself a drink, Johnny works his way over to the blinking answering machine and plays his messages:
Answering machine-“you have two new messages…”
Voice of Dennis (frantic and out of breath, like he is recovering from being in hysterics)-“Hey man, it happened again. I can’t do this anymore. Please call me when you get this, I really need your help man.”
A.M.-“next message”
Voice of Dennis (composed)-“Hey man, its me again, I think I found another way.I’m sorry I’ve been such a burden, you were a good friend.”
Johnny picks up the phone and dials it in a panicked manner. He paces waiting for someone to pick up but no one does. He hangs up in frustration about to throw the phone. Defeated he sits down in his chair. After a slow contemplative drink, Johnny picks up the phone and dials another number.
Shane’s Voice-“Who it this?”
Johnny, staring down at the floor with elbows on knees, answers reluctantly-“It’s Johnny.”
Cut to black.
Fade to the interior of Johnny’s apartment. Camera is straight on with Johnny. Johnny is fast asleep on his couch when he hears a knock. Waking up slowly and hung over he asks-“Who is it?”
Shane’s voice, from behind the door-“It’s me, open the fuckin’ door.”
Johnny gets up slowly-“Gimme a sec…” muttering under his breath, he rubs his eyes, “fuck.”
Camera cuts to mid-distance shot with Johnny walking across his living room tripping on things along the way when he finally walks out of the frame.
Cut to Johnny at door. He unlocks the deadbolt on the door and opens the door cautiously. Upon recognizing the person on the other side he beckons them in.
Johnny- camera is mid-distance (enough to all of both men) and follows the two men as they enter the room.“Come on in man, its good to see ya. Sorry the place is such a mess.” Johnny is picking things up off of the floor, as though someone just ransacked his place and Shane caught him at a bad time. Johnny throws everything in a pile in the corner, clears off the couch and offers Shane a seat.
Cut to tight angle on Shane from the waist up surveying his haphazard host.
Shane-“Cut the shit, Johnny, what do you want me to do.”
Cut to: Johnny seated on the couch, drink in hand.
Johnny-“What makes you think I want anything from you.”
Cut back to Shane. At this point Shane is frustrated, tire, pissed, and already doesn’t like Johnny.
Shane-“Don’t fuck with me man. Every time y’all call me you need me to do something.”
Cut to Johnny, taken back by Shane’s attitude.
Johnny-“Fuck you man, I don’t need this shit…”
Cut back to Shane. Red in the face.
Shane-“Look asshole, you called me!”
Cut back to Johnny. At first he leans back in the couch and takes a sip of his drink.
Johnny-“Fuck…” spoken as though he was caught in a lie. Leans forward, as though about to tell a secret, “Alright man… it’s Dennis.”
Cut to a tight angle shot on Shane’s shoulders, neck and head, eyes focused now,
Shane-“What about Dennis?”
Cut to a mid distance shot of the two looking at each other intensely. At this point, Shane would love to beat the shit out Johnny, but he also wants to find out what Johnny exactly knew about Dennis.
Johnny-“You may wanna take a seat.” We see Johnny push a chair in Shane’s direction, and Shane obliges.
Cut to frontal shot of Johnny-“He called me. He’s in a bad place. I think… I think he’s gonna kill himself.”
Cut to shane-“What’s left to kill. We both know he died along with everyone else three years ago.”
Johnny- “What the fuck are you tryin’ to say?”
Shane-“you know exactly what I’m sayin. We all died that day Johnny; you, me, and especially Dennis.”
Johnny-“Your wrong man. Dead fuckin’ wrong!”
Shane-“Wake the fuck up Johnny! All you do is sit there up on your fuckin’ high horse and leave me to clean up your mess. I’m sick of it man!”
Johnny-“Shane, what the… that was long time ago man. That’s got nothin’ to do with Dennis.”
Shane-“That has everything to do with Dennis. Isn’t that why were here. To figure out what to do about Dennis. Because we both know, he aint doin’ shit!”
Johnny-“What the fuck does that mean?”
Shane-“Dennis called me too, Johnny. He told me he couldn’t get out. He needed help, my help.”
Johnny-“What did you do?”
Shane-“I did what you couldn’t do. He asked for my help, and I delivered’
J-“What the fuck…how could… Dennis? This is the fuckin war anymore Shane!”
S-“If you wanted to do it your way then you should have called him back, instead of stick you thumb your ass.”
J-“I didn’t have a chance… I mean… it’s just that…”
S-“You had your chance Johnny. We don’t have time for you moral attitudes to kick and take chare. We act. And that’s what I did.
J-“This isn’t the war man,” almost to himself, as though to reaffirm it to his character.
S-“He killed someone, Johnny. Someone close to him. Now how many people have to die before you’ll do something about it?”
J-“He needed you to help him. Not kill him!!”
S-“Help him do what, Johnny.”
J-“He was sick shane he needed help.
S-“He wasn’t sick Johnny. Hell, he might have been the only sane one. He acted the way a person should. Your th sick one man. You deny the fucking thing even happened.”
J-“I don’t… I never… you… you can’t…”
S-“You’re a killer Johnny. Because you didn’t do a damn thing. You let Dennis die just like you let all those people die, right in front of your eyes.”
J-“You killed him man!”
S-“A good person doesn’t deserve to live with what we did.”
j-“you fuckin killed him man.” After a moment Johnny takes a swing at Shane. Shane parries and knocks jonny to the fllor. Johny screams, “ Get out! Get out, or I’ll fuck kill ya.”
S-“thants more like it.” Shane then tosses a piece of paper–cul to black.
Act 3:
Shane is driving back to where he killed Denis-next to the two graves Shane is digging a third – he is just finishing up when hear a car pull up behind him. He stops to wipe his forehead with a dirty ad – leaving a mixture of sweat, dirt and blood on hi forehead. Johnny gets out of the car.
S-“It’s about time.”
Cut to black.
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
PLOT AND CHARACTERS
The story starts when Shane Lynch is released from prison after a ten year stint. He has been put into prison for the murder of one of his long time child hood friends. Because of his good behavior and his repentance for his crime he is let out early. Another one of Shane's childhood friends, Johnny (Lastname), is not so thrilled to hear that Shane is back on the streets. Johnny was very close to the person that Shane killed and viewed him almost as a little brother, when Shane got jealous. The three of them were at one time small scale drug dealers, but after Johnny got out Shane took Dennis (the one he killed) under his wing. They started getting bigger and eventually went their separate ways. But when Shane realized that he was slowly slipping down the ladder while Dennis was climbing up to take his spot he didn't know what else to do. To him, the only justifiable action to protect his own was to take out Dennis. But his time in prison showed him the error of his ways and wanted nothing more than to get out and make amends for his past actions. Johnny doesn't care. He feels that the only justifiable punishment for Shane is death. Even if he has to do it himself.
Characters:
Shane Lynch (played by Edward Allendorfer)
Johnny (Lastname) (played by Bienvenido Howard)
Dennis Ashworth (not played by anyone)
Dennis Father (actor to be decided)
Act 1:
We start in an abandoned trainyard with a young man, Shane Lynch, smoking a cigarette by his car waiting for someone else to show up. The second person shows up. Shane grabs him in a friendly way and brings him around to the back of his car. We see Shane slam Dennis on the trunk of the car. Cut to Dennis lying dead on the ground with Shane Driving away.
Act 2:
We now go 10 years into the future on the anniversary of Dennis' death. Johnny is getting dressed to go visit Dennis' father. At the same time Shane is being released from prison, also on the way to Dennis' father's house to try to make amends. Johnny meanwhile is grabbing a bouquet of flowers off the kitchen table while watching a news broadcast talking about the release of Shane Lynch. He turns the T.V. off and mutters something unintelligible to himself and walks out of his apartment. Shane is taking a taxi from the prison and arrives at Dennis' father's house just as Johnny is leaving. Johnny bumps into Shane on the way out.
Act 3:
Shane is in Dennis's father's house, they are talking, and making amends. Dennis's father, knowing that anger will not bring his son back, forgives Shane and accepts him back. Shane decides to walk back to where he is staying that night. Johnny meanwhile has been waiting for Shane to leave so that he can exact his revenge. Which he does. And we see Shane lying dead in the abandoned yard, while Johnny drives away.
Characters:
Shane Lynch (played by Edward Allendorfer)
Johnny (Lastname) (played by Bienvenido Howard)
Dennis Ashworth (not played by anyone)
Dennis Father (actor to be decided)
Act 1:
We start in an abandoned trainyard with a young man, Shane Lynch, smoking a cigarette by his car waiting for someone else to show up. The second person shows up. Shane grabs him in a friendly way and brings him around to the back of his car. We see Shane slam Dennis on the trunk of the car. Cut to Dennis lying dead on the ground with Shane Driving away.
Act 2:
We now go 10 years into the future on the anniversary of Dennis' death. Johnny is getting dressed to go visit Dennis' father. At the same time Shane is being released from prison, also on the way to Dennis' father's house to try to make amends. Johnny meanwhile is grabbing a bouquet of flowers off the kitchen table while watching a news broadcast talking about the release of Shane Lynch. He turns the T.V. off and mutters something unintelligible to himself and walks out of his apartment. Shane is taking a taxi from the prison and arrives at Dennis' father's house just as Johnny is leaving. Johnny bumps into Shane on the way out.
Act 3:
Shane is in Dennis's father's house, they are talking, and making amends. Dennis's father, knowing that anger will not bring his son back, forgives Shane and accepts him back. Shane decides to walk back to where he is staying that night. Johnny meanwhile has been waiting for Shane to leave so that he can exact his revenge. Which he does. And we see Shane lying dead in the abandoned yard, while Johnny drives away.
PITCH
This is a story about repentance and revenge. It revolves around three long time friends who are torn apart by a tragic murder. The three friends are Johnny, Shane, and Dennis. Shane was arrested and convicted for the murder of Dennis after Shane thought Dennis was moving in on his territory. You see, the three friends were drug dealers for a long time, but Johnny got out after he found a girlfriend. But Shane and Dennis kept going, until Shane killed Dennis. After Spending 10 years in jail, Shane is torn by his guilt and repents for his crime, and desires to make up for it. Johhny, feels that the only punishment for Shane's crime is death.
Monday, September 6, 2010
"The Second Grave"
The Second Grave (working title)
Characters:
Sara - Narrator
Bret – Sara’s Boyfriend/Protagonist
Dennis – Bret’s Best Friend
“Vingo” – Drug Dealer/Antagonist
Drug Dealer Minions (2)
Character Descriptions:
Sara Abayan:
- 24 when story starts
- 23 when story takes place
- Is a college student
- Father left when she was 10
- Lived with her mother who had to work two jobs so Sara was left to care for herself, as a result she grew up very quickly
- She is mature, resilient, responsible, carries a sad air about her
- Dated Bret for five years (met when she was 18)
- Lived with Bret
Bret Lane:
- Dead when story starts (but we don’t know this)
- 24 when story takes place
- Mother died of a heart attack (she smoked a lot) when he was 15
- Bret’s dad was an alcoholic since his mother died. (Not in the story as a character, only referenced)
- Bret also pretty much raised himself as he grew up
- Very quiet, sad eyes, but still pulls through and is relatively happen
Dennis Ashworth:
- Dead when story starts (but we don’t know this)
- 23 when story takes place
- Pot Dealer. Buys big bags. Deals to college kids.
- Comes from a relatively stable but dysfunctional family
“Vingo”:
- Heavy Drug Dealer
- Supplies Dennis
- Went to High School with the Bret and Dennis
- 24 years old when story takes place
- In jail when story starts
- Smokes lots of cigarettes
Basic Plot Description:
The film starts with Sara alone in an apartment packing up some boxes. It looks as though she is moving but she is packing up mostly some man's things. She starts narrating about the difficulty of life while she puts a picture of a mother and a little boy in a frame with a clipping from a newspaper. It is an obituary. She thens goes on to say that life wasn't always this way. Cut back to a living room scene with three early twenty somethings. We recognize Sara, and her boyfriend Bret is introduced along with their best friend Dennis. They are laughing and enjoying a night together, which is the last night Dennis is alive. They find out the next day in the newspaper that Dennis had been murdered by his drug dealer. Dennis' drug dealer - Vingo - is let off for the murder of Dennis. This obviously upsets Bret and he starts to withdraw into himself. He has lost faith in the system. He spends the next couple of weeks contemplating what he should do, or if he should do anything at all. Finally when Bret is out one night he sees Vingo and his goons eating at a fast food restaurant, laughing. He snaps. He rushes in and punches Vingo across the cheek and then drags him outside and starts beating him. Vingo's goons try to stop Bret but he knocks one of them out and breaks the other ones knee. He goes back to Vingo who has gotten up and gotten a gun and then shoots Bret, who dies on the spot. The movie ends with a montage of Vingo getting arrested and tried and headlines of Bret's death and an obituary. Which we then see Sara put into the box next to Bret's mother.
Actors:
Sara: Nicole, Ryan, Jess
Bret: Chris, Bien, Michael
Dennis: Bien...
Vingo: Ted...
Goons: Nick...
Characters:
Sara - Narrator
Bret – Sara’s Boyfriend/Protagonist
Dennis – Bret’s Best Friend
“Vingo” – Drug Dealer/Antagonist
Drug Dealer Minions (2)
Character Descriptions:
Sara Abayan:
- 24 when story starts
- 23 when story takes place
- Is a college student
- Father left when she was 10
- Lived with her mother who had to work two jobs so Sara was left to care for herself, as a result she grew up very quickly
- She is mature, resilient, responsible, carries a sad air about her
- Dated Bret for five years (met when she was 18)
- Lived with Bret
Bret Lane:
- Dead when story starts (but we don’t know this)
- 24 when story takes place
- Mother died of a heart attack (she smoked a lot) when he was 15
- Bret’s dad was an alcoholic since his mother died. (Not in the story as a character, only referenced)
- Bret also pretty much raised himself as he grew up
- Very quiet, sad eyes, but still pulls through and is relatively happen
Dennis Ashworth:
- Dead when story starts (but we don’t know this)
- 23 when story takes place
- Pot Dealer. Buys big bags. Deals to college kids.
- Comes from a relatively stable but dysfunctional family
“Vingo”:
- Heavy Drug Dealer
- Supplies Dennis
- Went to High School with the Bret and Dennis
- 24 years old when story takes place
- In jail when story starts
- Smokes lots of cigarettes
Basic Plot Description:
The film starts with Sara alone in an apartment packing up some boxes. It looks as though she is moving but she is packing up mostly some man's things. She starts narrating about the difficulty of life while she puts a picture of a mother and a little boy in a frame with a clipping from a newspaper. It is an obituary. She thens goes on to say that life wasn't always this way. Cut back to a living room scene with three early twenty somethings. We recognize Sara, and her boyfriend Bret is introduced along with their best friend Dennis. They are laughing and enjoying a night together, which is the last night Dennis is alive. They find out the next day in the newspaper that Dennis had been murdered by his drug dealer. Dennis' drug dealer - Vingo - is let off for the murder of Dennis. This obviously upsets Bret and he starts to withdraw into himself. He has lost faith in the system. He spends the next couple of weeks contemplating what he should do, or if he should do anything at all. Finally when Bret is out one night he sees Vingo and his goons eating at a fast food restaurant, laughing. He snaps. He rushes in and punches Vingo across the cheek and then drags him outside and starts beating him. Vingo's goons try to stop Bret but he knocks one of them out and breaks the other ones knee. He goes back to Vingo who has gotten up and gotten a gun and then shoots Bret, who dies on the spot. The movie ends with a montage of Vingo getting arrested and tried and headlines of Bret's death and an obituary. Which we then see Sara put into the box next to Bret's mother.
Actors:
Sara: Nicole, Ryan, Jess
Bret: Chris, Bien, Michael
Dennis: Bien...
Vingo: Ted...
Goons: Nick...
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
Assignment 1: Self Critique
Hmmmm....
How to critique myself? My darkside says to hail praise to my own genius and let the technicalities fly, while my lightside says that it was ok at best. I think I'll go with the lightside. I could sit here and bitch and moan about the limited capability of the flip cam but then a poor craftsman blames his tools. So instead, I blame the craftsman. My biggest hurdle was dealing with the light and thus the accompanying noise that came with it. While I was able to adjust this by making my clear shots noisier I would have liked to have had all clear shots! The next biggest issue for me was the noise. But what can you do, like I said, blame the craftsman.
As far as a formal critique goes i will say that all of my shots were alittle too long. Either I was not speaking quickly enough or I just had too much to say within the limits of the shot. i think that adding a few more shots, like three or four would have helped to quicken the pace of the action while simultaneously allowing for more room to push the absurdity of the situation. My original intention was to use humor to convey a more serious message.
Most people can relate better with humor than with some serious douchebag telling them what to do. So instead I made fun of the pompous douchebag. Simultaneously allowing my audience to laugh while at the same time listening to what i had to say. Was I successful? Kind of. The humor aspect worked. The audience taking my message serious? Not so much. While the skit did end on a more sincere note there was not enough sarcasm (or sincerity) to make either one matter much. The whole thing turned into a spoof. If anything the humor probably distracted from the serious nature of the content.
So to fix this problem? I think shortening the shots will make it easier to digest the information, but also building up the action would help. By gradually building up the absurdity I think it would allow the audience to see that humor to a point is good, then it just becomes absurd and blocks the originally intention. Humor is a means, not an end in itself. Laughter allows for people to have a release, to enjoy what they are doing, people should enjoy film. People should also get something out of it. If the humor starts to detract you need to subtract.
All in all I was happy with the quality of the shots themselves. I think I did a good job of developing space while at the same time allowing for cohesion. I do, however, think that my dialogue could have been tightened up. Perhaps I could have allowed for a moment to pause the film and have the audience discuss a proposed question. That could have worked to literally promote dialogue between the film and the audience, a major point in my manifesto.
How to critique myself? My darkside says to hail praise to my own genius and let the technicalities fly, while my lightside says that it was ok at best. I think I'll go with the lightside. I could sit here and bitch and moan about the limited capability of the flip cam but then a poor craftsman blames his tools. So instead, I blame the craftsman. My biggest hurdle was dealing with the light and thus the accompanying noise that came with it. While I was able to adjust this by making my clear shots noisier I would have liked to have had all clear shots! The next biggest issue for me was the noise. But what can you do, like I said, blame the craftsman.
As far as a formal critique goes i will say that all of my shots were alittle too long. Either I was not speaking quickly enough or I just had too much to say within the limits of the shot. i think that adding a few more shots, like three or four would have helped to quicken the pace of the action while simultaneously allowing for more room to push the absurdity of the situation. My original intention was to use humor to convey a more serious message.
Most people can relate better with humor than with some serious douchebag telling them what to do. So instead I made fun of the pompous douchebag. Simultaneously allowing my audience to laugh while at the same time listening to what i had to say. Was I successful? Kind of. The humor aspect worked. The audience taking my message serious? Not so much. While the skit did end on a more sincere note there was not enough sarcasm (or sincerity) to make either one matter much. The whole thing turned into a spoof. If anything the humor probably distracted from the serious nature of the content.
So to fix this problem? I think shortening the shots will make it easier to digest the information, but also building up the action would help. By gradually building up the absurdity I think it would allow the audience to see that humor to a point is good, then it just becomes absurd and blocks the originally intention. Humor is a means, not an end in itself. Laughter allows for people to have a release, to enjoy what they are doing, people should enjoy film. People should also get something out of it. If the humor starts to detract you need to subtract.
All in all I was happy with the quality of the shots themselves. I think I did a good job of developing space while at the same time allowing for cohesion. I do, however, think that my dialogue could have been tightened up. Perhaps I could have allowed for a moment to pause the film and have the audience discuss a proposed question. That could have worked to literally promote dialogue between the film and the audience, a major point in my manifesto.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)